Today has been such an incredible and challenging day and holy fuck am i tired - I was up at 4.30am today, it is now 11pm. you do the math - because i literally cannot. three yoga classes, one excursion, a whole bunch of stress (oh money... you are so dumb), overwhelming Happiness, tapas, a castle in the sky, and more.. I'll write a real post tomorrow, I promise <3 the next yoga begins in 8 hours and I have much to do between now and then!
Oh, and I'll try to squeeze some sleep in there too.
Lurv,
Jin

who the heck am i waving to..??

​Ayyyyyyyyyy today's lesson - there's always a fucking lesson!! some days I'd just like to EXIST please and thank you!! - is to forgive myself for the sake of my own Happiness.

I have such a long, long, long way to go, and habits of mine that I've been disliking for years, my whole life basically, are still here (duh), and as I'm about to go to sleep it's so hard not to just sit here and beat myself up. It's hard to just accept and Let Go and focus on the fact that Today was a Good Day. Truly. 

Today was another example of an incredible day, surrounded by amazing people and beautiful places and things, and somehow internally I was and am still a cynical bitch. It really was an amazing day, which started before dawn (perhaps that's the beginning of the cynicism right there..) and began surrounded by fairy tale mountains and yoga and a gorgeous sunrise and the weirdest toaster I've ever seen.

​We went on a hike, which has never been my favorite, up to an overlook from which you can see the entire valley, and the three different pueblos blancos - white villages - nestled here in the hills. It was, of course, gorgeous.

We also got our asses kicked on the hike by an older, local couple. All of us. By a couple in their late 50s or 60s. Kicked our asses up that hill. Passed ALL of us.

One of the incredible other yoga students, Sabine - a total rockstar hot mama from Belgium - while looking down over hundreds of miles of beautiful trees, olive orchards, tiny winding roads, tinier cars, and the slow pace of life below, verbalized that you could feel it in the air - There's just no stress here.

I can see for miles and miles a- I mean kilometers and kilometers and kilometers . . .

Me being Me, though, I don't think that that sentence has ever applied to my life. 

Today is Sunday, and the travel day to the yoga retreat, and here in Spain it is also Mother's Day - which apparently isn't a set day worldwide, which makes sense when you think about it, I just never had. Mother's Day in Spain is also just a wee bit different, as it's a crazily Catholic country, and Catholics are super into THEE Mother aka The Virgin Mary. Either way, you should call your Mama and say GRACIAS.

From very early today my world has been full of challenges. In this book, "When Things Fall Apart;" which is becoming both invaluable to me and also so spot on the nose that I'm thinking I need to STOP reading it, as it seems everything I read then comes true; it talks about recognizing the people who are sent into your life as gifts, especially when they create in you Not The Best Feelings. Those people arrive to help you with the things you need to work on, like for myself, my Patience, my Kindness, and my Flexibility. And how truly grand of the universe to send me just the right scenario to test all of those things!

​What a gift, according to the book, that I didn't have to DO anything, to have all my lesser traits tested. And from very early on today, they have been...

​Holy fucking fuck. I'm sure everyone is familiar with a self-fulfilling prophecy? Or perhaps even, be careful what you wish for? well mother fuckin' fuck if I didn't make sure to include that quote in my last blog post, only for me to be beyond tested in implementing it into my daily life! and did i pass? you know I fuckin' didn't! holy fucking shit fuck.

"When things fall apart and we're on the verge of we know not what, the test of each of us is to stay on that brink and not concretize. "
-Pema Chodron from "When Things Fall Apart"

​that's a lot of curse words, even for me, so my semi-apologies and I'll back up to where we last left off.
​
Que Dia Fue.. oy.

​Well you know what they say about hoping for the best... That you should prepare for the worst. ( <----- Future Jin is laughing maniacally at this statement while posting it. Just wait for it..)

Don't worry, I didn't piss myself. At least, not ComPLETEly .. It's only been about nine hours since I left the U.S. but I've arrived in another country, on another continent!, and it's officially 9.30am here in Madrid so it's time to start my day!

​Well.. This is it! As I type this some VERY rapid spanish is being announced over the speaker system of the incredibly massive plane that I'm on, and some where in there I understood that they are now closing the doors. My tummy is active with excitement over this new adventure, nervousness at flying over an ocean in a god-defying steel bird/prison/death trap, as well as regret that I ate most of that TERRIBLE wolfgangpuck pizza, instead of choosing the Kale and quinoa salad. 

Seriously, Mr. Wolfgang, how do you fuck up $15 pizza??