So I'm sure you all remember how my Timing In Life is Perfect? It's true. How else would I have ended up at the inaugural art exhibite curated by photographer/retired model Kira Bucca in a giant warehouse in Brooklyn this last Saturday? AKA The Chi Chi Factory Show #1 . Or, as I'm going to call it, #AdventuresInBrooklyn SLASH The Night of Great Penises.
The NSFW images are about to happen, and trust me, you're going to want to see these, and not for any of the reasons that you think you'd like to see these. Promise.
Keep reading, my loves ... ;D
I'm such a fan of Art in all it's forms, and it's always amazing to be part of any art exhibit, as I know first hand the Blood, Sweat and Tears poured into every second, every square inch, of an event's existence.
Through my travels there is one thing that I have learned...
It doesn't matter if you grew up in Nampa, Idaho or if you're an LA native, or if you're a punk rock kid in Brooklyn, or an eccentric individual on the verge of your Big Break in Ecuador..
All art starts somewhere.
As an artist myself, I personally know how easy it is to fall into the trap of 'but.. sure I like to art.. but I'm just starting! I could never make it in XYZ' - but here's the thing - artist of all levels exist in all levels of cities/towns/pueblos/squatter dwellings/chili's bathrooms.
Never use your location as an excuse, or think that you can't be a beginner in a big city. Big cities are FULL of beginners. They're BIG cities, so they're full of lots of things.
Like the new powerade commercials say - We're all just a kid from somewhere.
And this kid is from My Mother's Uterus. It's warm and cozy there.
So this showcase was not only awesome in the fact that it showcased artists of all levels, and many mediums, but also that the content of the work was right up my fucking alley...
Miss Hadba, all I can say in response to this piece is Thank you. Thank you, times a bajillion. Also,Xine Zanillo, this piece is totally up your [vaginal] alley too.
Some of my favorite pieces of the night, by darling painter Kristy Elena titled "Rage Stroke" and "Life's Little Inconveniences" - titles which I'd like to believe are completely interchangeable between the two pieces, as I can sincerely relate to both on the daily. Image CR Kira Bucca.
Ready for the uncensored...???!!!???
"Drink Up!" A piece within a piece: Yours truly enjoying Kira Bucca's work (and some champagne - naturally) as captured by Christopher Butt Photography.
That's right. That right there is a raging hard dick. And I love everything about it. But perhaps not for the reasons you'd suspect...
Being an active member of the modeling industry, I see a close up vagina about 7,000 times a day. And sure, they look like flowers or some shit and so that makes it "art" and taking photos of them is "progressive" because sex is "taboo." Or more commonly, some ass fuck with a camera and a couple crisp hundos got some close ups of young lady bits to send to me as enticement to do a photoshoot/date with him. Because that is "erotic." But honestly, vaginas are neither taboo nor erotic on their own, they're kinda just gross. And grossly misrepresented.
Have you ever thought of the PURPOSE of a vagina? It's not to sell hamburgers, or to spread and touch in a hotel room to be blasted all over the internet. But that's how we see them, and ONLY them. There's a whole misogyny in the fact that I see dozens of vaginas a day; in forests, on a bed of rocks, on hardwood floors, claiming to be the opposite of the vaginas I see popup in sidebar ads on certain websites that WE ALL LOOK AT so STOP JUDGING, but yet I never see one single penis out there in the Beautiful Natural Light of Sunrise in all those unkept Fields of Wheat. Apparently, not only are vaginas the equivalent of sex (and all the selling that comes along with that), but only vaginas can be considered 'art,' erotic or otherwise.
Where the fuck are all the penises?
When you think about the REAL purpose of a vagina, they are quite useless without at least ONE God Damn penis around.
So, my never ending applause to Miss Bucca and her satirical and BEAUTIFUL representation of the male genitalia. They're just as gross and weird as any vagina, and quite scarce in the art world.
That's why these photos brought me so much joy. They're like a damn sports watch ad, but of dicks. Fucking Fantastic.
And as a little bonus to those of you who fought your way through the penis photos (which, let's be honest, was a treat!) here's some video clips from the nights festivities, featuring the music ofBortniker-Levy, and my champagne fueled camera skills.
PLUS! There's even some nekkid photos of yours truly, brought in by the inscrutable Christopher Butt Photography.
I know, I know - enough vaginas already! This night is for the wieners of the world!
A big thanks to photographer, friend, and contributing artist Tam Nguyen for inviting me to this event. His work was also, of course, amazing. The best part was recognizing his models in attendance, and giggling because I could accurately picture them nekkid (I wonder how often that happens when people meet me...???). Y'all are beautiful.
Thanks for reading guys! I'm often too busy on my adventures to appropriately share them, and hope to do better at changing that! Please go stalk and support these awesome artists, and feel free to share yours truly with the world. I'm building an army, and can't do it without you ;)
One last thing! This blog post is dedicated to one particularly fantastic artist and friend who, I think might actually prefer to stay Anonymous. You know who you are, and you know that I love you. Happy Birthday and thanks for all the fish! Or something like that.